Long Flight Do’s and Don’ts

24Sep09

In just four days time, Susie and I will be sitting on an Aeroplane Specialjet 2000, heading to Oz. 

Despite what the media would have you believe, long distance air travel is not all glamorous, P Diddy inspired, celeb-filled, champagne soaked parties.

Although it very often is.

An image of what the interior of our plane will almost certainly look like.

An image of what the interior of our plane will almost certainly look like.

With this in mind, I have compiled a comprehensive list of six do’s n’ don’ts that should be rigorously adhered to throughout any flight.

1. If the in-flight film stars Queen Latifah – don’t watch it.

2. Always adjust ‘Ventilation Flight Air Socks’ in a provocative manner.

3. As each hour passes, announce loudly to your fellow passengers ‘ONE HOUR DOWN, TWENTY SEVEN TO GO’……’TWO HOURS DOWN, TWENTY SIX TO GO’ etc. This will not only keep everybody informed of flight progress but will ensure spirits remain high.

4. Make sure you bring a good book. I would recommend ‘Meat Bludgeon’ by Colin Hotter.

5. Strike up a conversation with your neighbour shortly after takeoff. If you find them boring or stupid -TELL THEM SO! It’s a long flight and you don’t want them yammering on.

6. Wear something light, comfortable and stylish. Do NOT dress as an air steward or you risk constant unwanted requests for drinks and snacks.

If you have anything to add to this list that you think may prove useful, please let me know.

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One Response to “Long Flight Do’s and Don’ts”

  1. 1 RuRu

    Also, don’t forget you can avoid jet lag by booking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed.


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