What an Absolute Shower


Hello from Sweden as the Swedes like to say. We landed in Stockholm about a week ago and headed straight for the Mosebacke Hostel, our home for the first week. I felt like freshening up (not in a girly way) after our flight and went looking for the showers. I very quickly discovered that they were open plan and unisex, confirming the stereotype that Swedes believe nudity is not shameful when in actual fact it very much is. As you can imagine I was shocked and after an hour and fifteen minutes of peering through the door of a toilet cubicle I’d had quite enough thank-you-very-much and marched out of there absolutely appalled at how shameless some people can be.

I continued to explore the hostel, protectively brandishing my electric toothbrush and eventually found the male showers. As before, there were no cubicles and I was immediately confronted with the sight of a naked man walking towards me with a look that quite simply said ‘yeah, so this is my junk’. He had the studied nonchalance of a Friederick and began vigorously towel drying his face as I cleaned my teeth. It occurred to me that if only my parents had spent some money on sending me to public school instead of wasting it on food and shelter, I would have been much better prepared for this kind of situation. Friederick continued his gallant attempt to have the driest face in the world while I made my excuses and left. 

I resolved to brazen it out on the ‘showering with naked strangers’ front tomorrow morning. However, this proved unnecessary as the receptionist informed us that by a bizarre stroke of good luck we had been mistakenly booked into the VIP suite for the first five days. After double-checking about seventeen times that we were still just paying for the tiny twin room, we skipped off to our palatial pad trying not to look superior to our hostelry brethren even though we now definitely were.

The room was so enormous that corners had been filled with decorative vases stuffed with expensive looking twigs. I had never stayed in a hostel room that contained a decorative vase before and felt momentarily teary. I soon pulled myself together and began to explore our new environs. This only took about 6 seconds as after all it was still just a room.

Youth Hostelling P. Diddy style


Naturally, there was an en-suite de la fantastiqué. It was a little light on the decorative vase front for my taste but I was prepared to overlook that as I showered the British way – completely alone while stoically humming the National Anthem.

Sadly, our VIP status couldn’t last for ever and this afternoon we will once again be relegated to P status. This means I will suffer the indignity of moving to the twin room we’re actually paying for and forced to slum it by showering with the great (temporarily) unwashed. Now that I have tasted the forbidden fruits of expensive youth hosteling it will be very difficult to go back. I don’t know how I’m going to explain to Friederick that I’m just a different person now and things can never be how they once were.


2 Responses to “What an Absolute Shower”

  1. 1 Ian Willis

    Why does it look like Suz only has one leg?

    • 2 davexxxx

      I hadn’t noticed that actually. Would definitely have been the basis for a more amusant caption.

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